Parenting is again in review as we begin to understand that challenges that face us in the 21st century. This age of technology has affected the way we raise our children, and has offered a more hands off approach to parenting.
The western world holds the expectation that nowadays a home needs to be supplemented by a dual income. These means parents will spend less time with their children because they have to work, and to call upon the services of third parties. The same is true to an even greater extent for single parents.
Diana Baumrind has suggested four distinct parenting styles: authoritative, authoritarian, indulgent, and uninvolved. There is certainly a relationship between a parent's parenting style and the way in which a child adapts to their surrounding society.
Authoritative Parenting
This is considered to be the most desirable style of parenting. The parents in this style are both demanding and responsive. The child is given expectations for their behavior. However, they are also encouraged to develop their own personalities and are given a voice in the life of the family.
The guidelines given the child by their parent do not smother the children, which provides them so amount of independence to handle situations. So there is a real sense of support, trust, and cooperation in this style of parenting.
Authoritarian Parenting
This is a highly demanding style of parenting, but one where parents are unresponsive. It is likened to military discipline, where the parent is mostly unfeeling, and that their word is law and not to be questioned under any circumstances.
Parents attempt to instill a sense of fear in their children so that they will obey them. Studies have shown that children raised in these environments tend to be less assertive long term, and often develop codependent habits.
Uninvolved and Indulgent
These two styles live on the other end of the spectrum. Uninvolved parents are typically unresponsive, undemanding, and sometimes even neglectful of their responsibilities as a parent. Indulgent parents are overly responsive to their children, letting the children have their way, and catering to their every desire. This style of parenting avoids confrontation with their child at all costs.
Obviously, the best style of parenting in these categories is the authoritative approach. What is needed are parents who are willing to maintain the high standards of this style of parenting even in the face of a lot of distractions from such a parenting style. Children are extremely influenced by their parents, and studies suggest that a child's personality can be up to 90 percent developed by the time they reach the age of 7.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
A supportive Home
According to experts, different styles in parenting often times generate different results. Of the many different parenting styles identified by experts, the authoritative parenting style is considered as one of the most appropriate. The authoritative approach creates a demanding yet supporting environment. Demanding in the sense that the authoritative parenting style creates rules but unlike the authoritarian parenting system where the children cannot question the rules, the authoritative parenting style is interactive.
Experts believe that children thrive better when they are given rules to abide by. Having rules is important for children because these rules would give them a sense of security. Under the authoritative parenting style, the parents and the child often makes the rules together and agree to abide by the rules that they have created. Unlike in authoritarian parenting where the parents would like to stay over and above the rules, the authoritative parenting style promotes healthy interaction between parents and children thus creating a more supportive and cooperative atmosphere.
Promoting Authoritative Parenting in the Home
Children always look up to their parents for guidance; thus parents will always have some degree of authority over their children. When promoting the authoritative parenting style in your home, you should always let your kids know that you are the leader and that there are things that you are more knowledgeable about than your children. Since authoritative parenting is based on the principles of trust, mutual support and cooperation, your child must know that you can be relied upon to deliver what you promised. If your child knows that you are serious and that you can be relied on to do what you said you would do, he or she is more likely to cooperate. Furthermore, it is always good to let the child know where he or she is standing.
When promoting authoritative parenting in the home, you must learn to be very consistent. You are your spouse should see to it that your decisions are not contradictory because this can confuse the child. If one spouse says no, the other should not say yes otherwise, the balance of power in the house will be disrupted and the child becomes disoriented. In cases where you do not agree with the decision of your partner or your spouse, you should not show your disagreement in front of the child. You and your spouse should talk things out in private and come up with a unified stand on issues involving your child.
Experts believe that children thrive better when they are given rules to abide by. Having rules is important for children because these rules would give them a sense of security. Under the authoritative parenting style, the parents and the child often makes the rules together and agree to abide by the rules that they have created. Unlike in authoritarian parenting where the parents would like to stay over and above the rules, the authoritative parenting style promotes healthy interaction between parents and children thus creating a more supportive and cooperative atmosphere.
Promoting Authoritative Parenting in the Home
Children always look up to their parents for guidance; thus parents will always have some degree of authority over their children. When promoting the authoritative parenting style in your home, you should always let your kids know that you are the leader and that there are things that you are more knowledgeable about than your children. Since authoritative parenting is based on the principles of trust, mutual support and cooperation, your child must know that you can be relied upon to deliver what you promised. If your child knows that you are serious and that you can be relied on to do what you said you would do, he or she is more likely to cooperate. Furthermore, it is always good to let the child know where he or she is standing.
When promoting authoritative parenting in the home, you must learn to be very consistent. You are your spouse should see to it that your decisions are not contradictory because this can confuse the child. If one spouse says no, the other should not say yes otherwise, the balance of power in the house will be disrupted and the child becomes disoriented. In cases where you do not agree with the decision of your partner or your spouse, you should not show your disagreement in front of the child. You and your spouse should talk things out in private and come up with a unified stand on issues involving your child.
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